What Does Mediation Look Like?

WHAT DOES MEDIATION LOOK LIKE?

A family member or service provider involved in a dispute contacts AIM Mediation by phone (972-809-0247) or e-mail (info@e-seniorservices.com ) and provides information about the disagreement.  That person requests a mediation.  If there is a court case pending, sometimes the court will recommend mediation before scheduling a trial and will refer the family to us.  We ask the contacting party for information about all the parties involved in the disagreement, their contact information, and the subject of the disagreement.  One of our mediators explains our mediation process and estimates a cost for the mediation.

If the party who contacted us wishes to proceed, one of our AIM mediators invites all the parties to the disagreement to the mediation and schedules a date and time convenient for the parties.  Often, the home of the seniors involved or another family member may be an appropriate location, if all parties will be comfortable meeting there.  If not, a neutral location is found.  Our mediator sends out some initial paperwork to gather information and to confirm everyone’s intent to meet for the mediation.  Out-of-town parties may arrange to attend via phone, but everyone is strongly encouraged to attend in person.

On the day of the mediation, everyone sits down as a group with our neutral mediator.  Each party introduces himself or herself and states his or her position on the issues at the heart of the dispute.  Once everyone has had a chance to express his or her thoughts, the mediator helps the parties to identify the issues on which they will focus during the mediation.

Once the issues have been identified, many families will opt to take a break from the mediation for an hour or so to meet with one of our “senior resource consultants” who can provide information on the types of resources available in the community to meet the specific needs the group has identified.  We have found that many families find this sort of expert resource information valuable in order to formulate a workable plan; the stress of not knowing about available resources is often one of the underlying reasons for the disagreements.

This practical knowledge enables the parties to return to the mediation after the break armed with realistic ideas to propose as possible solutions to their disagreements.  The mediation resumes and the parties then suggest options for discussion and try to find real-world solutions on which they can all agree.

During the course of the mediation, our neutral mediator continually encourages the parties to listen to each other, to treat each other with respect and civility, and to talk openly with each other.  If parties are having difficulty talking directly to each other, the mediator may move participants into separate rooms and the mediator will then talk with the parties individually and carry authorized messages back and forth to keep the discussion moving forward.  Our mediators all have many years of experience in working with older adults and aging issues and will assist the parties in assessing how their ideas may play out in real life.

By the end of the mediation session, the parties often agree on a plan of action and write and sign their own agreement, which can be legally binding if they choose.  If parties cannot reach an agreement at that time, they may agree to research several of the options discussed during the mediation and to meet again in a few days, or to communicate the results of their research directly to each other or through the mediator, with the goal being to come to an agreement within the next few days.

Mediation is effective in resolving disputes over 80% of the time.  Even when mediation does not result in an immediate agreement, parties may have reopened lines of communication and may have narrowed the issues on which they disagree, making it easier to reach agreement at a later date or to limit the issues later taken to trial.

Discussions had during the mediation are confidential.  The mediator cannot testify in any legal proceeding about what happened during the mediation, nor can his or her file be used at trial.

We ask that our mediation fee be paid prior to the beginning of the mediation.  It is often wise for the contacting party to ask all the parties to share in the cost of the mediation; this financial investment provides greater motivation for all parties to make the mediation succeed.  Because every situation is unique, we cannot estimate the cost of the mediation until the contacting party provides us with basic information on the nature of the dispute and the parties involved. 

The costs of mediation are generally much lower than the costs of litigation and the chances of preserving positive family or professional relationships are greater in mediation than in litigation.  Choosing to mediate a dispute gives all parties a voice in the decision-making process and permits them to control the ultimate outcome of the dispute, whereas a court proceeding will be decided by a judge or jury.